Recession Hits Home

February 2009

Los Angeles, CA

Recession hits home.

Almost 10 million people have lost their jobs. More than 200 people line up in front of a Triftshop opening up in OC in hopes of getting hired for one of the 22 positions available, with salaries ranging from $10-$12/ hr.

Some of my friends have lost their jobs.

And all of them are trimming down somehow not knowing if tomorrow they'll be forced to clear up their desks.

After my emotional breakdown at work that lead me to quit my job, I can say I am one of the fortunate ones who have a job and though I could use a pay raise, I can't quite complain about the paycheck either.

My stepdad always told me that if I learn accounting I can make a pretty decent living and I'll never be unemployed. As much as I hated accounting, truth is I owe it to him the fact that I was able to find a Job at a time when Jobs are a hot commodity.

Yesterday as I spend 2 hours looking for my checkbook in order to pay my rent. I then realized that not knowing where it was also meant I had no idea of what my account balance was or how much my credit card bills were running these days. It was chocking to realize that the credit cards balance are blown up to slightly over 4k and that my account balance after paying this month's rent and a chunk of the credit card bills is only $900, that will have to last me until the next paycheck hits the bank....... on February 28th. Yes my friends.... I had just deposited my paycheck 2 days before.

Conclusion...... accountants can sometimes suck at managing their own finances.

I will not cry about this. In fact not one single tear has been shed.

Lessons are repeated until they are learned. Hopefully this time I have mastered this one.

So here it is for all the word to see how a Recessionista under the influence will turn her life around and profit from a recession that has hit very close to home.

December......

December is my favorite month of the year.  Not only I was born in December, but Christmas is in December, Ski trips usually take place in December, people are generally Happy in December (call it the Holidays' Spirit).

To me December the month of all possibilities.  Its in December that i undergo a spiritual "spring cleaning".  Its a month of introspection and self realizations.  December signals the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one. Closure, it something that is important if one is to move on.  

December 2008 will be a month of self-realization and spiritual growth.  I'll be taking a break form life, have no responsibilities and really just seat and ponder on what really makes me happy so that as I enter the new year I find balance and inner peace.

So grab and cup of coffee and tag along on this journey to self discovery :)

OUT OF THE LOOP

Its been a long time since I last kept a journal or a blog.  

Perhaps that explains the frequency of my postings. The best thing about having a blog is the principle of freedom of expression.  I can say whatever i want.  I can express whatever i feel at the moment at which each posting is being written.  There is no one to apologize to, no expectations that are not met, no responsibilities, no strings attached.  

You the reader decide wether or not you would like to spend time reading it or not, if you don't agree with the posting you are free to express yourself howe

ver you want.  You can leave a comment, you can express your opinion on your own blog, and if i really upset you, you can choose not to put up with my blog and wonder on to the next page.

This is why virtual lives are so fascinating.  We are somehow anonymous, not forced to comply with someone else's agenda.  

We are free to just be.

STEPPING AWAY

After careful consideration I decided to give my job a second chance. It is hard to walk away from a project when it is being left half way completed. Also and partially because I've cooled down a lot and can now see things from a 3rd party perspective, not driven by passions and emotions but guided by reason. Maybe they are right there is hope and tomorrow we'll be able to turn it around.

Then the fundamental question is why am i so stressed out? Stress comes from frustration, frustration because I feel powerless, and this powerlessness is being caused by me feeling ignored. 

Now how can a change something in this pattern of behavior?

Since i cannot change others, all I can do is all I can do. I'll do my work the best I can and if no one would like to collaborate I'm still doing my best. I need to learn to let go. This is not my business and I'm being paid to work and to help them out. If they don't want help then bottom line I'm still getting paid, right? How long will I last in this state of denial, maybe not long. But for now I have an agenda, getting my life together. And this means really take some time to organize my life, thoughts, take a dance class, do some yoga, hang out with my friends, keep up with my laundry and study for the Board exam.

The reason I keep on felling that i'm hitting a wall is because I gave up my entire life for this job, running it like it is my own business. From now on my attitude will be more like a consultant. I can do the research and give recommendations but if the owners don't care then feel free to keep on paying me to tell you what to do. Now do not expect that i'll try to push change, because a consultant's job is to recommend, not to put a gun to someone's head and make them do things. That is the job of a Manager.

So here is the first lesson on how to keep up with stress ..... IF YOU CANNOT CHANGE IT, LEAVE IT ALONE.... ONE DAY YOUR EFFORT WILL BE RECOGNIZED.